And Down We Fall
by pandafox
Summary: Basically Wincestiel with a build up, starting with Dean and Sam as teenagers. Can't say exactly where it will all go.
1. Chapter 1

Dean rolled over so that his back was to Sam. He was restless and wide awake. Their dad was asleep in the bed next to them and Sam was out on the bed they were sharing. He felt a tiny bounce of the bed and knew that it was his little brother twitching because of another nightmare.

He rolled back over, a hand stroking down his brother's arm and he calmed down for minute. Dean pulled his hand back slowly and Sam trembled, a whine escaping his lips and he clung tightly to the sheets over his body.

Sighing, Dean pulled the younger Winchester into his arms and ran a hand down his back, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. Sam's arms wrapped quickly around his brother and he clung to him, whimpering softly.

"Hey…Sam." Dean whispered against the top of Sam's head. "It's okay. S'okay, Sammy. It's just a dream."'

Sam whimpered again, but the tension slowly slid from his body and he relaxed, still holding onto his brother. "Dean…?" He whispered in a sleepy voice.

"Yeah, Sammy. I got you."

"You…You and Dad went on a hunting trip. An-and Dad came back. But you weren't with him." His grip on Dean tightened again.

"Just a bad dream, Sammy. It was just a bad dream. I'm right here. I got you. Not going anywhere." He kissed the top of Sam's head, feeling his little brother shake with silent sobs. "It's okay, Sammy."

"Don't leave me, Dean. It could happen. Please don't leave me…" Sam's grip on Dean was almost painful now, as if he was worried Dean would get up and walk out, going to get himself killed right now.

"Hey, hey, hey. I'm not going anywhere. Promise."

Sam nodded against Dean's chest and, with his older brother stroking his back slowly, he fell back asleep. Dean laid there for hours, Sam in his arms, hating his life. He hated the nightmares that it caused his little brother, he hated going on hunting trips while Sam stayed behind and most of all, he hated knowing that what he'd said to him, that he wouldn't leave him, was a promise that he wasn't in control of.

Dean rubbed his eyes, rolling over. He was in bed by himself now, Sam had probably woken up hours ago. When he sat up, John was sitting in front of his laptop, deeply engrossed in whatever he was reading, and Sam was sitting on the other bed, leaning against the headboard. His arms were crossed and he had his bitch face on. Dean sighed, knowing that this wasn't going to be a good morning.

"Mornin'…" He croaked out, in a tired voice.

Sam looked over at him, or glared is more like it; but before Dean could complain, asking what the hell he did, John turned away from the computer and started talking.

"Morning, Dean. Looks like there's a case in Nevada."

He turned his attention to his dad, still unsure why his brother was pissed at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, and I'm gonna need some back up."

Oh…Well shit. That wasn't really Dean's fault, was it? So why was he the one getting the death glares?

"I'm gonna go get some breakfast and some cash for Sam," John said, standing up and grabbing his keys off the table. "Shower and get packed up while I'm gone. I'll be back in about an hour."

"Yes sir." Dean nodded, tossing the blanket off of him and standing up.

As his dad walked out, Dean moved to the bathroom, closing the door behind. Mid-piss, there was a loud thump on the bathroom door. He glanced back, brow arched and finished up as quickly as he could.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing?" He opened the door to find one of his own boots on the floor just outside of the bathroom and his brother was walking around, throwing clothes in a suitcase.

"Packing for you." Sam snapped, "If you're gonna leave I'd rather it be sooner than later. Then I don't have to sit around with you all day."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Thanks for the help."

He closed the bathroom door again, turning the shower on and climbing in. Half way through washing his hair, he heard another loud thump on the bathroom door. "Damn it, Sam!" He rinsed his body, shut the water off and gave himself a quick dry before wrapping a towel around his waist.

Opening the door, he was prepared to yell at Sam to stop fucking throwing shoes, but was taken aback when he saw clothes on the floor. His eyes travelled until he saw his brother, at the foot of their bed, knees drawn to his chest and body shaking with sobs.

Dean could've swore he felt his heart breaking in his chest as he walked across the room and sank to his knees next to Sam. Arms quickly wrapped around Dean, tears soaking his chest as his little brother cried into his against him.

"Sammy…" Dean ran his fingers through Sam's hair, his free arm wrapped around his back. "What's this all about?"

"You promised…" His body shook with another sob, and he clung tightly to Dean.

"Sammy, I don't have a choice…" Dean frowned, unhappy with this turn of events mere hours after his brother's nightmare.

"You won't come back. Dean, you're not gonna come back…"

"Hey, hey. Don't say that," He pulled Sam so he was practically in Dean's lap. "I'll come back, Sammy. I always come back."

Sam shook his head against Dean's chest. "You can't promise that…"

He sighed into Sam's hair, knowing it was true. And what was he supposed to say? Nothing he said would make it better, so he just rocked his little brother in his arms, petting his head and shushing him. It wasn't until he seemed all cried out that Dean spoke.

"Okay, Sammy," He said, pushing him back gently. "I'm gonna need your help."

Sam furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side questioningly.

"Call Dad. Ask where he is. Tell him that after he left I took a shower and started packing, then ran to the bathroom and I've been in there throwing up since."

Sam raised a brow, still confused.

"We're gonna convince him that he should leave me behind."

A smile spread across Sam's face and he stood up, walking over to the nightstand and picking up Dean's phone. The older Winchester moved to sit on the edge of the bed, watching Sam as he dialed a number and put the phone to his ear. Dean pulled a shirt and boxers on while his brother talked into the phone.

"Hey Dad…No, it's Sam…Where are you? …Because Dean's sick…Yeah, after you left he took a shower and then was packing when he started throwing up…No, he made it to the bathroom…He's still in there…Yeah, okay…Alright…I'll see you in a few minutes…Bye, Dad."

Sam hung up and looked at Dean expectantly. "He's about ten minutes out."

"Okay. I'm gonna go try n' make myself throw up. But I need you to slap me first."

"What? Why?" Sam furrowed his brow, looking at his brother as if concerned that he might actually be sick and have a fever.

"I need my face to be red, so I look sick." He explained, hurriedly. "So slap me or try to make me blush."

Sam raised a hand and gave Dean's right cheek a hard smack. It immediately started turning pink and Sam smiled proudly.

"Ouch," Dean laughed, "At least you're good at that, 'cause you couldn't make me blush if you tried."

Sam rolled his eyes and smacked Dean's other cheek. "Don't have time for that now, but I'll test your theory later."

Dean's brows shot up. "I don't blush, little brother."

"Whatever. Go puke."

Shaking his head, Dean got up and laughed, walking to the bathroom. "Wish me good luck." He crossed his fingers on one hand, pretending to gag with his index finger on the other. When Sam rolled his eyes again, he grinned and shut the door.

Sam slowly started putting Dean's clothes back, not sure what to do while he waited or if this would even work. When all the clothes were folded neatly, he sat on the edge of the bed, but immediately jumped back up as the door opened and his dad stepped in.

"Still in the bathroom?" John asked, placing 3 coffees and a box of donuts on the table.

Sam nodded and John walked over to lean against the door frame, knocking softly. The answer that came was a cough, followed by gagging and what even Sam believed to be Dean throwing up. There was a groan and the toilet flushed. They heard the sink turn on and assumed Dean was rinsing his mouth. A moment later he stumbled out, looking absolutely miserable. His hair was a mess, his cheeks were flushed. He looked at his dad, frowning and shrugging and fell onto the bed, crawling up to the top and pulling the covers over him.

John looked him over and sighed. "I'll call Bobby. See if he can't go with me."

Dean just nodded sadly. "Sorry, Dad…"

He waved a hand dismissively and fished his phone out of his pocket, walking out the door. As soon as it was shut behind him, Sam crawled up on the bed next to Dean and curled up to his back.

"Thank you, Dean…" He whispered.

"Don't mention it, Sammy. S'my job to take care of you, right?" He smiled over his shoulder, "Now pretend you're checking my temperature or something. Dad could come back in anytime now."

Sure enough, just as Sam stood on Dean's side of the bed and placed a hand to his forehead, John walked back in.

"Hey, kid. I'm gonna head over to Bobby's. If you, try to eat something. I can go by a store and get you some medicine before going to see Bobby."

"Don't worry about it, Dad," Sam told him, "I'll go down to the store."

"Good boy, Sam. Take care of your brother. If you need more money, Dean's got his card. Here's some cash," He handed Sam a wad of cash, "I'll call in a couple days and let you guys know how it's going."

He rustled Sam's hair, patted Dean's shoulder and walked out the door, grabbing one of the coffees on the way out. They waited about ten minutes, sitting there in silence, just in case, and then Dean shot up, grinning.

"So…Donuts?"


	2. Chapter 2

"You read too much, Nerd."

Sam looked up from his book to his brother, who was on the other bed, stretched out and staring over at Sam. He looked bored. That was rarely a good sign. It meant that he would be bugging his little brother.

"No I don't. You just don't read enough," Sam countered.

"I read plenty." Dean arched a brow, giving Sam a very serious look. "Come on. I'm sick. Take care of me."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You're not sick."

"Fine. But you begged me to stay. So shouldn't you at least do something with me?"

Closing his book, Sam sat up, legs crossed. He looked at his brother expectantly.

"Well, what do you wanna do?"

"I dunno. Let's find a movie to watch."

Dean started flipping through the channels, but couldn't find anything remotely appealing to either of them. He groaned falling back on the bed.

"We could go get something."

"Let's go then," Dean said, getting up and pulling his boots on.

He grabbed the keys to his Impala and Sam quickly pulled his sneakers on, grinning ear to ear.

"No, Dean!" Sam whined, "Come on, you know I don't like clowns!"

"Oh, lighten up. You can pick a movie too, and you can sit with me while we watch this one. I'll hold you if I have to."

Sam flushed and walked away without saying anything, determined to find a funny movie to ease his mood after the horror. Dean followed after him, a smug grin on his face.

"Want some candy and popcor-" He cut off when he saw the movie Sam was holding. "Oh, come on, Sammy! That's a chick flick!"

"Yeah, and you picked a IT," Sam countered, "We're even. Yeah, I want some candy and popcorn."

Dean grumbled, but otherwise made no effort to argue as they walked up to the counter, picking up a few boxes of candy and a couple bags of popcorn. Sam looked around at the posters while his brother paid.

"One day I'll teach you what a real movie is," Dean said, handing the bag with the movies and snacks to his brother.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Sam mumbled and opened his door, climbing in the Impala.

Dean got in the driver's side and put his keys in the ignition.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"Dean, can we get pizza?" Sam asked, crawling onto Dean's bed next to him.

"You're putting off the movie, Sammy." Dean cocked a brow and stretched his arms, indicating that Sam could come cuddle with him like he clearly wanted to.

"M'not…" Sam grumbled, moving to up next to his brother.

Wrapping an arm around Sam's shoulder, Dean pulled him in closer. Sam rested his head against Dean's chest. "M'just sayin' that we need to eat. More than candy and popcorn."

"Fine," Dean said, with a dramatic sigh. "What kind do you want? We'll get two."

"Vegetarian."

"Are you frikking kidding me?"

"Dean."

"Fine. God, you're such a girl." Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Dean let go of his little brother. "You're gonna have to move, Sammy."

Sam moved so that he was sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed while Dean walked over to the table, picked up a flyer that had been left on their door a few days prior, and dialed a number. He ordered a vegetarian and meat lovers pizza, gave the name and number on his stolen credit card and hung up.

"Should be here in about half an hour," He said, joining Sam on the bed again.

Sam nodded silently, looking down at his lap and toying with a string from his shirt. "Hey, Dean?"

Dean looked up, startled by the small voice. "Yeah, Sammy?" He cocked a brow, eyeing his brother who still hadn't looked up.

"It scares me, you know?" Sam said casually.

"What does?" There were a million things for Sam to be afraid of, so it was a valid question.

Sam swallowed, looking briefly up at Dean and back down again. "When you go on a hunting trip with Dad. I'm always scared you won't come back."

Dean leaned over, placing a hand under Sam's chin and lifting it up. "Sammy, I'll always come back. I don't care what happens. I will always come back for you, okay?"

Shaking his head, Sam looked at his brother with sad eyes. "You can't promise that…"

Dean pulled Sam close, gathering him up in his arms. "You know what my main job is?"

Long limbs wrapping around Dean, Sam sighed. "What?"

"To take care of you," Dean whispered, "And how can I do that if I'm gone, huh?"

Sam shook, clinging to Dean.

"I can't. Which means I won't leave you. I need to be here to watch out for my pain in the ass little brother."

"Not a pain in the ass…" Sam grumbled.

Dean ran a hand down Sam's back. "Sure you are, little brother."

Sam whined, but still clung to Dean.

"Always gonna here for you, okay?"

Sam squirmed as Dean squeezed his sides, tickling him.

"Okay?" Dean repeated and pinned his brother under him, hands moving to his back where he knew Sam was especially ticklish.

Sam bucked up and pushed Dean, but he just grabbed his wrists in one hand, holding them over his head. "Dean! Stop it!"

"Say okay." His free hand moved inside Sam's shirt to tickle him better.

"O…k-k-kay!"

Dean cocked a brow. "Huh? Didn't catch that."

"Okay, okay, okay!" Sam squirmed freeing his hands and catching Dean's. "You'll always be here. Okay."

"Damn right," Dean muttered, suddenly very aware of the fact that he was straddling his brother and their faces were inches from each other.

Sam swallowed hard, eyes flicking to Dean's lips and back up again. Dean knew he should move, knew he should get off of his brother right then, pretend that didn't see Sam's eyes move, that he hadn't done the same thing. He had been ignoring his attraction to Sam for a year by this point. So there was no way he could justify leaning forward further until he could feel his little brother's breath on his lips, until Sam could surely feel his heart pounding in his chest; but he did it anyway, watching Sam's eyes fall closed. He was just about to close the final distance when there was knock on the door, causing him to jump off the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean looked out the window suspiciously and relaxed a bit.

"Pizza," he muttered as if he'd forgotten they'd ordered it.

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Of course."

He tried to ignore how disappointed Sam sounded (it was probably his imagination anyway) and opened the door. The pizza girl was cute and he tried to focus on that.

"Hi, Tori," he said with his usual charming grin as he read the girl's name tag. "How's a pretty lady like yourself doin' tonight?"

"Fine, thank you." She spoke in a monotone voice, clearly not interested. Which really didn't help Dean at all, since he wasn't really interested in her either. He wanted to take the pizzas, set them down on the table and go kiss his brother until neither of them could breath. God, how wrong was that?

"What ya got goin' on after work?" He asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Probably going home and hanging out with my girlfriend."

Oh...Damn it. Dean groaned internally.

"And your little brother looks like he could use some attention. So why don't you take these pizzas and I'll get out of here so you can give it to him?"

Dean swallowed hard and nodded. Damn it. He really didn't want to be alone with Sam because he really wanted to go give him some attention. Too much attention. He signed his receipt, giving Tori a reasonable tip.

"Have a good night," he muttered and took the pizzas, closing the door. He set them on the table and tried to avoid looking at Sam while he searched around for the paper plates they kept. He was slow about pulling two out and putting a couple pieces on each.

When he turned around and finally looked at his brother, Dean was startled by how hard he was glaring at him. Slowly walking across the room, Dean set Sam's plate down in front of him and sat cautiously on the edge of the bed.

"Did I do something to piss you off?" He asked innocently, brow arched.

"Yeah. You did," Sam muttered and Dean swallowed.

"Care to enlighten me?"

"This night is supposed to be about us. And you just tried to ditch me for a girl."

"Oh, come on, Sammy," Dean said, looking at him pleadingly. "I was just flirting."

"Yeah...You're always flirting."

"Never bugged you before," Dean muttered, trying to ignore the reason it might be bugging him this time. Because damn it, his brother was not jealous and they definitely hadn't been about to kiss. Nope. Definitely not.

"Actually it's always bothered me," Sam snapped.

Dean chewed on the inside of his lip, brow furrowed before asking a potentially dangerous question. "Why?"

"It doesn't even matter. Let's just watch the movie." Glaring at his plate Sam picked up a piece of pizza and took a bite.

"Sammy," Dean said, voice softening. "It does matter."

When the younger Winchester looked up with pain in his eyes Dean wanted to smack himself. He was supposed to protect Sam, keep the pain away. He wasn't supposed to be the one to cause it, god damn it.

"I just want my time with you to be about us. Not some girl. You already spend most of your free time with girls...Can't you just forget about them when you're with me?"

Dean sighed. He wanted to tell Sam that the only reason he did this was to remind himself that he couldn't have his brother. He'd make plans with girls while he was with Sam to take his mind off of him only to think about him later when he was making out with them or fucking them in the back of the Impala.

"I'm sorry, Sammy," he finally said.

"Yeah, whatever," Sam muttered.

"Stop it," Dean said, grabbing Sam's chin and forcing him to make eye contact. "I'm sorry. You're right. I'll stop."

Sam's eyes focused on Dean's like he wasn't sure he believed him and that broke Dean's heart.

"C'mon. Let's eat and watch the movie. I'll hold you when we're done eating. Make you feel better about the clowns, okay?"

"I don't need you to hold me, Dean. I'm not a little kid."

"Yeah yeah. Whatever," Dean said, trying not to feel hurt. It was true. Sam was 15 and Dean was 19. But somehow that hardly ever stopped any cuddling from happening.

He put the movie in and started playing it. He wasn't paying attention, mind too occupied with thoughts of Sam as they ate in silence. He wanted to smack himself for hurting his little brother. He hated that Sam didn't seem to believe him when he said he'd stop. It was like he'd failed him. Dean was supposed to be the one Sam could always count on and trust no matter what and the thought that-

"Dean?" A small voice said, startling him from his thoughts.

Dean shook his head and looked over at Sam who's eyes were wide as he glanced back and forth between his older brother and the TV. It was pretty damn adorable and Dean just held his arms out to his little brother.

"Come here, Sammy," he murmured and Sam scooted across the bed, curling up in Dean's arms.

The older Winchester sighed and rested his chin against Sam's head. He tried to pay attention. He really did. But it just felt so good, so right to be holding Sam in his arms and it made it difficult, especially when the younger Winchester wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and drew himself in closer.

At a particularly 'scary' part, Sam jumped and turned to bury his face in Dean's chest, holding him tightly. Dean pet his head whispering, "Shhh, Sammy. It's okay," and closed his eyes, kissing the top of his brother's head.

After a little while Sam started to slowly relax, but refused to look back toward the TV and jumped every time there was a scream or startling noise. Dean considered turning the movie off, but then Sam would move away sooner and he felt bad, but wanted to take advantage of having him in his arms for as long as he could.

Eventually Sam's breath started to even out and Dean looked down only to realize that his brother had fallen asleep. He smiled softly and kissed the top of his head. He carefully shifted so that he was laying down and when Sam clung tightly to him, Dean smiled a bit wider. "S'okay, Sammy," he murmured, keeping his arms around his brother as he closed his eyes. Within a few minutes Dean drifted off, Sam's head rested against his chest.


End file.
